100 Things to Do Before I Die

It's been a really warm week here though there hasn't been as much rain as we've needed. The warmer weather does have it's downside though. The flies in Australia are numerous and are specially bred as 'attack flies'. Ruth has found a way of avoiding being eaten alive - as you can see from this photo. It's almost as if we're intentionally trying to allow the locals to play 'Spot the Pom' or something like that. We'll be availing ourselves of the community swimming pool in the very near future, but we draw the line at wearing socks and sandals at the same time.


It's not been a great week for Ruth. She was tasked with looking after a friend's budgie over the holidays (today marked the start of a two week Spring break in Australian schools). He was delivered and it was decided that it would be a great idea to put him the aviary that we have on our veranda. A previous resident of this flat had converted part of the veranda to a luxury bird storage facility, so in went Buddy the budgie. He looks happy doesn't he? Well, he was - flying all around and having the time of his life. But all the time that he was enjoying a bit of space and exercise he was plotting anarchy in his tiny bird mind and within a couple of hours he had quite literally flown the coop. So Buddy escaped from a maximum security aviary where he had been imprisoned for a crime that he, quite conceivably, didn't commit. He may, and I stress the word may, have escaped to the Los Angeles underground and be working as a soldier of fortune. If you have a problem and if you can find him then maybe you can let us know.

So, I've promised you something special haven't I? Well I suppose I'd better deliver the goods.


Yes. It's this week's Dubbo Photo News. And guess what? A couple of weeks ago Georgina (a daughter of some staff members here) had her 18th birthday party. And guess what? There was a photographer from Dubbo Photo News there. And guess what? THAT'S RIGHT! I was in the one of the photos that was printed. Here's the page that I appear on. Can you spot me?



No? Here's a close-up for you. The quality's not great, which is probably the only thing that makes this photo bearable.


OK. It's a terrible photo in about every possible way, but I made it. So I had to go to Georgina's 18th birthday party in fancy dress to get in, but at least I made it. And when I say fancy dress then let me clarify that I was dressed...ahem...as a woman. A hideously ugly one at that. Let me explain how this happened. We were invited to Georgina's party and the theme was 'Fashion'. Ruth suggested that we go as old women and for want of a better or even more relevant suggestion I agreed. I left her with the task of securing costumes as I was in Victoria for the days before the party. When I returned from Swan Hill and prepared for the party I was given my costume of a dress and a wig. There was nothing 'old ladyish' about either of them. Even more puzzling was the fact that Ruth's 'We'll go as old ladies' suggestion had become 'You go as a woman and I'll go wearing only slightly less fashionable clothes than I normally wear'. So I went to this party dressed in a highly inappropriate manner. No-one else, and I mean no-one, had even touched the whole 'cross-dressing' thing. I don't know what's more distressing - the fact that none of the other guys in the photo are in fancy dress or the fact that I suspect I now know what Xanthe is going to look like when she's older and feel really, really sorry for her.

Still, appearing in the Dubbo Photo News was number 58 on my list of '100 Things to Do Before I Die' so we're getting closer to the number 1 spot. Now I just need to move on to number 57. I'll keep you posted as to how my attempts to turn lead into gold are going.