Home Alone

Hello all. No photos with this update because Ruth and the children are in the UK and she took the camera with her. She said that she "doesn't trust me with it" and put it in one of the suitcases. How long does a man have to live with the stigma of having once filled an entire memory card with photos of his own foot?

That never happened, by the way, but I needed to make something up to try and explain why my wife would have left me camera-less just so that she can selfishly take photos of friends, family and English grass. Where do her priorities lie? That's what I want to know.

I've spent some time in Canberra recently. I was down for a Warhammer tournament (Don't ask. Please. Don't) at the weekend and I stayed on to spend some time with Cornerstone Assistant National-Dictator Paul Roe. He was speaking at a conference for teachers in some of the Canberra Christian schools and I was there to - in his own words - 'make him look good' by not screwing up the photos and other multi-media things that he wanted. I failed in this task by screwing them up. Still, as we were talking to Christians they weren't allowed to think bad things about me so it all turned out OK in the end.

While in Canberra I got to visit Parliament House (where the Aussie leaders make decisions on big national questions - like "Prawns or Snags?" and "Who's bringing the stubbies?") and the National War Memorial/Museum. Did you know that the Aussies have one of the only four copies of the Magna Carta in the world? It's there at Parliament House. It was fascinating to read the Australian translation on a plaque next to the document. For example, the clause "At her husband's death, a widow may have her marriage portion and inheritance at once and without trouble" has been translated as "Don't come the raw prawn with me, mate. If Bruce carks it, then Sheila will be sorted. Fair Dinkum. She'll be apples."

That was another lie. She what's happening to me without Ruth to offer moral guidance?

The National War Memorial was very interesting. It's a massive museum really. Paul and I only managed to get around World Wars I and II and that was quite enough for one sitting. There's a closing ceremony every day - it included 'The Last Post' while we were there. The Memorial has been designed in such a way that you can see Parliament House across the city centre. The War Memorial is the place where you get a real sense of Australian identity, but it doesn't come across as being an identity that centres around the military. It's more that the Australian involvement in wars had shaped the identity of a very young country. The 'Spirit of the Digger', where you do the job without grumbling and trust your mates to see you through is very much at the heart of what it means to be an Aussie. I actually find it refreshing to be around a people who are proud of their history and acknowledge the way in which it has shaped them. I feel that we Brits are currently going through a stage of nervous embarrassment about our own national heritage and that won't help future generations to understand their own identity.

Canberra is a very deliberately designed city, which doesn't suit everybody. I liked it. It had a city feel, but it's pleasing to the eye and very green - I think it only has a population of about half a million people, which is pretty amazing for a capital city. It was also quite interesting to see all of the different embassies around the centre. They're quite noticeable and all in the same part of the city. The building style that the different nations have chosen really reflects their own cultural thinking. The Chinese embassy was full of stone dragons and Oriental bits and pieces, the Finnish embassy looked suitably Scandinavian and functional, the British High Commission was very understated and plain, while the US Embassy took up about four times the space of any other embassy and was crawling with security check-points. Fascinating.

Well, as there's no-one around to cook my dinner for me I'd better go and see what the mouse-traps have caught today. Thanks for reading, and have a good week.