Let me whinge about how tired I am...

Last week was a very punishing week. We had two staff members away on holiday which had a knock-on effect for my workload. I already had a full week on, so this was not appreciated. It was such a tough one for me that I've decided to miss this week's Games Night so I can have an evening in. Let me repeat that. I'm choosing to miss an opportunity to play board games. That's how weary I am.

(Was going to say 'shattered' but you don't use it that way in Oz. It means 'distraught' rather than 'blooming tired'.)

It drives home again all those considerations and challenges about commitment and choosing to respond well to circumstances. At times like this I'm always reminded of that part in Matthew 13:13-14 where Jesus is trying to take a break and the crowds won't let him. John the Baptist has just been executed and he wants some time alone to grieve, but the people follow him. I'm humbled and broken (perhaps 'shattered') by what Matthew tells us - that Jesus saw them, had compassion on them and attended to their needs at the immediate expense of his own. I'm also reminded of the description of Jesus (by Bonhoeffer if I remember correctly) as 'The Man for Others'.

There's no such thing as 'me time', or at least if there is it's merely time spent selfishly, for which we can expect no honour from God. There's time spent wisely making sure that my ministry is sustainable, and there's time spent feeding my egotistical conviction that "My needs are the most important thing in the world". The problem is that I can rarely tell the difference between the two.

Can I ever be Son of God enough to selflessly respond to the needs of others even when all I want is an evening by myself? I'm sure I'll have plenty of opportunities to put it to the test, and maybe I will prove myself to be a Christian after all.

On a less introspective note, I think it's about time I put some family photos up so that you can see how well we're all looking.