Splashe Mat

So here's a photo of me in my Mat Exchange uniform (i.e. blue shirt with appropriate logo). The guy driving is Bill, an ex-truck driver from Bourke. He's going to be my new boss when Matt moves to Swan Hill. The Mat Exchange is a great job. Today we BBQ'd some sausages for lunch while we were waiting for the dirty mats to finish in the washing machine. On Wednesday we got a burger and some Splashe Cola from 'Mrs C's Fine Foods' in Dubbo. Any job where your boss buys you caffeine drinks and includes a bottle of tomato sauce in his 'essential items' tool box is a job worth doing.

Let me tell you a little more about Splashe Cola, the greatest Australian invention since the dingo. It's a regional cola drink (like the Breton Cola that Goul introduced me to en Francais) so gets extra marks for being culturally relevant. It tastes awesome and, in my darkest moments, I find myself drinking a can of Coca Cola and wishing that it was Splashe Cola. Apparently it's about 90% caffeine. I think I'm addicted and I've only had one bottle. True, it was a 1 litre bottle, but still. I was told that it's not been the same since the police closed down the factory until they actually started filtering the river water that they used. Opinions on Splashe Cola are mixed at Cornerstone. Half the people here think, as I do, that it is a truly magnificant drink. The other half regard it as some sort of soul-bondage in liquid form. I merely scoff at these fools. I'm strong. I can quit any time I want.

It's not just the caffeine-related beverages that are different. They have the same shops but they're all wrong. For example, they have Woolworths here but the logo is different. Not just that, it's actually a different kind of shop. Here it's a grocery store like Tescos or Sainsburys so most of the food in our kitchen is Woolworths' 'Home Brand' label. It just feels wrong. Also, their attitude to rain is all messed up. They love it. Children actually go outside when it's raining - usually barefoot. Rain has got a rarity value here that it just doesn't have back in the UK. Perhaps we should export some UK rain to Australia. That might make up some of the national budget deficit. We had a storm last night that was pretty amazing to behold. I was learning how to deliver pizza at the time, so that was a unique experience.

The people are still great. While I was writing this a lady called Anne knocked at our door. She'd been walking outside and collected some wild Australia flowers for us to put in a vase. They do things like that for us all the time. It's wonderful. I dread to think how they would be treating us if we'd lost the cricket. Reid has been getting to know the wildlife a bit while here. He is a big fan of animals in general, so he's very happy with all the 'chooks' and stuff running around here. Today Ruth happened to notice him reaching out to poke a giant lizard that was wondering around outside. She intervened just in time. Apparently it was a 'Blue-Tongued Lizard'. They bite but don't do any real damage. I'm not sure if the animal identification was correct though, as just before bed Reid told us that the 'big lizard stuck its black tongue out at him'. Maybe it was a 'Black-Tongued Lizard' then. They're probably the most poisonous lizards in Australia or something like that. I suppose we're lucky Reid didn't bring it in to the house and start feeding it my shoes.

So ends another blog. Maybe next time I'll stop talking about little details and mention some God stuff. He deserves it. I need a drink. See you around.